Disregard the fact that the addressee's sex isn't apposite to our arduous conundrum for all of this is just trivialities. The division of gender in the following segment will not encumber the meaning behind the marrow.

And pardon me, L, if I may seem unusually plagiaristic but I'm just too weary to write you my words, too weary of being this foolishly in love, too weary of you not being here where I am.

Three simple words and I can't seem to say it like any other normal person. Oh well...

I was in class yesterday (terminable, because of you) and I noticed Fergus's back (though if it had been your back I would have noticed it sooner) and I wrote to the person next me (a person I had never seen or witnessed, a person who does not know or does not care about me, a person who would spread her legs for you -perhaps already has-, everyone has, everyone has to me-) that Fergus has a sexy back and she wrote something down and it said "Yeah... But look at his face." The simple dumb cruelty of it all! That stupid response made me want to cry out and I thought of you. I left another note in your box, yet another tepid warning desires in my heart. You probably think that I am a babbling insane creature but I am not. I repeat, I am not. I only want You. There must be something you want from me. If only You knew. These notes I leave are hard to compose. I have refrained desperately from them with my perfume -trying to grab at any of your senses: aural, oral, nasal, etc. After I deliver these notes into your box I clench my teeth and squeeze my eyes shut, my hands feel like terrible claws, a patient in an eternal dentist's chair. It takes courage though. An irritating and tugging courage. The touch of you, or my imagined touching, seems both repellent and oddly succulent. It stings. These feelings sting. My eyes are always ready for you. They want to grapple and lay you down in fluffy white sheets of linen, safe, in your arms. I would take you to Arizona and have you meet my mother even. The seeds of love have taken hold and if we don't burn together, I'll burn alone.