I have never talked to her, and I never will. I'm happy to have my dream of a perfect person unshattered. Every time I'm doing something to better myself and it becomes uncomfortable and I start to think about how maybe I should give up I think, would my dream girl ever love a quitter, or a coward or a weakling, or any of a dozen other things. No, she would want someone who is strong, brave, kind, helpful, and honest Every morning when I wake up and the weakness in my own heart tells me to slack off, I can think of her and smile as I set to my tasks. when everything seems dull and lifeless, one of her pics pops into my head and I start to create, music, art, cooking, everything around me becomes part of the dizzying alchemy of thought, inspiring me to live. When I crash and hit the depression side of mania, I see the sadness in her eyes, and know that sadness can be beautiful if you don't wallow in it like a fag. Being able to feel loneliness and sorrow, is just a reminder that I'm alive and that there is so much more for me out there. Sometimes when my frustration and dislike of humanity brings me to the point where I could snap, something will remind me of Cracky and that she is a person too, so they can't all be bad.
I guess what I'm saying is, even if I did get to know her and didn't care for her personality, I would still have this dream of a perfect girl to keep me in line till I met a real one.
Thats it I guess.