>>5 What a unique and special sentiment you have there. In the red corner, you, the lone virtuous admirer of Cracky-chan, thinking only of her best interests and your pure devotion to her. In the blue corner, your sworn enemies, everyone else, the evil demented pervert-stalkers with their twisted ways and their sick delusions. Hurry! They're mentally unbalanced and trying to track her down like a pack of wild dogs. You, the only real defender of Cracky, must track her down first, show up heavily armed and visibly aroused on her doorstep at 3AM, to protect her from the crazy ones.
Real original line of thinking, buddy.
Truly, our enemy is us.