I don't like this. You went a long way to describe your secret fantasy of having Cracky approach you in a time of need. It is not going to happen.

5. Living in shared student housing (win)

I nominate:
"Living in the woods for free."

I feel it's a good option for those who are strapped for cash but too anti-social to get a job.

>>2
Hi Cracky, glad to hear you have it figured out already!

I get the weird impression I just leapt into a conversation, only to realize, too late, that the whole dialogue is between one person.

>>4

God, I surely feel flattered now!

Cracky can crash on my couch if she wants to - anytime.

>>6
Sleeping on sofas is a dangerous proposition. I once sank into the space between the back and the seat cushions on a sofa (whilst asleep). I have to admit to feeling a certain amount of panic when I woke up groggy, enveloped and in pain.

Another time, I awoke to find my left arm completely paralyzed (it took an entire days for mobility to return). Needless to say, I'm something of an expert on the dangers of sleeping on sofas.

Also: sex on a sofa? Watch out for poorly placed tacks. I have an elbow scar from some strange interstitial metal point (later revealed to be tack-like in shape, and useless in function). Also: you can shove the seat cushions off via rhythmic fornication. You will suddenly discover your pristine arse coated in lost change, hairballs and other such refuse. Nothing is less sexy than counting bottom-change (but you can't resist)!

>>7
It is fairly simple: Just put a sheet on the couch - problem solved! I slept on so many I lost count.

>>8
I don't see how a sheet could prevent any of my problems? Also: who carries around a sheet?

>>7
Also, aren't you male? Why are you on the bottom?

>>1

>>9
The person owning the sofa often has a spare one. Just ask.

Actually, I find it really comfortable to sleep on chairs (slept on one Sunday morning... really good sleep). I find two to a chair is best.

>>12
Students at university/college/boarding school rarely have more than one pair of sheets. In addition many sofas are not located in homes, but rather airports, hotel lounges, assistants offices, etc.

I just use my towel, often. Or perhaps I thought ahead and packed a single 3x5 blanket.

>>13
Two chairs or chair + table. Only one chair is not sufficient.

>>13
Two to a chair? As in: two people in one chair? What are you, Lilliputian?

>>14
Towels, yup

>>15
One must chose the petite girls to share sofas with :)

>>14
Do not fornicate with dirty students who only have one set of sheets! Dirty dirty!

>>16
Nope... good armchairs for preference. People have slept on my knees before.

>>16
It would take two full blown recliners to hold me. After some nasty experiences with improvised sleeping surfaces I just learned to sleep on floors. It's an infinite improvement and there is never a lack of sleeping space.

>>20
Lovely concrete floor! Once and never again.

Why is it dirty when you can just wash/dry your sheets in a few hours? As long as it happen enough. Conversely: Even if they had two sets of sheets, I'm not sure I'd want one.

>>22
Students with only one set of sheets are not loved by their mother.

>>23
I 'unno, that's now that matters. What matters is: "Don't count on sheets."

>>24
I meant:
"That's not what matters."
/shrug

Anyhoo.. >>1 does still suck. SAGE THIS ONE!

>>26
A wise man once said "Don't judge a book by its cover." I'm gonna bastardize this aphorism and postulate: "Don't just a thread by it's OP."

In short: give the trolls time, any sage-bombable dog turd can be hijacked.

(express line to awesome, stops at no stations!)

>>27
"don't judge"

But I do....

That would make you a cretin. I wasn't speaking in cretin, so please stop intercepting my secret communiques.

>>29
I don't think he's from the alps.

>>30
You're thinking of 'cretan', which means 'from crete' which is in the Mediterranean Sea (where there is an abundance of iodine).

>>1
I just realized OP gave timetable of 12-30 months. I'm not sure this is enough time to adequately prepare my arguments for why cracky should sleep on my sofa. Can I have... say... another four years to think about it?

STOP FUCKING POSTING
God I am one of the shittiest people on these boards, but fuck you all.
Sceavy shits make my skin crawl

Yes, bring on the creepy.

>>31
lawl, lern2internet

>The term cretin was brought into medical use in the 18th century from an Alpine French dialect prevalent in a region where persons with such a condition were especially common.

>>31
Way to go, you completely fail at etymology. None of the speculative etymologies for cretin involve crete, and it wouldn't make a lot of sense given the location and time of the introduction of the word.

>>35
I have no idea what you're talking about and I suspect you don't either. This may be because you weren't even a part of this conversation. Either way, allow me to explain:

Cretinism is a form of mental retardation caused by a lack of iodine. Cretan and cretin are homophones. I implied (incorrectly) that he meant Cretan but argued my case by pointing out that there is a preponderance of iodine available in Crete. This resulted in a humorous logical fallacy in my post (which was clearly farcical).

Next time, try and keep up because I won't explain it again.

This (>>37) applies to >>36 as well.

>>37
Protip: not funny.

>>39
Wasn't really supposed to be funny. It was supposed to be stilted and condescending. Reading comprehension FTL.

>>37
"Crétin", as it is spelled correctly, is a french loanword. If you were not solely relying on using Wikipedia to pretend you are more knowledgeable than you are, you had known this.

>>33
Urban dictionary (to say nothing of Websters) does not have a definition for "Sceavy"

Provide plz

>>42

umm I guess it is a mix of the heroin shuffles with scabies scratching. An uncomfortable feeling that something is crawling beneath your skin.

Bananas. I offer bananas. Paper bag ripened-to-perfection bananas. Slightly too green to feel comfortable eating bananas... but somehow a different sort of tasty! Bananas left a few days too long and slightly brown, perfect for smoothies yet not so old as to attract those weird little fruitflies. Bananas fresh off the boat from bananaland still in bundles, concealing exotic spiders waiting to pounce. Bananas on ice-cream in all sorts of sundaes. Bananas sliced up in other fruit compote and chilled; Raspberry is nice but for the little seeds that get stuck in your teeth! The other half of the banana I eat with lunch; Who wants a whole banana with their ham sammich? Bananas in cream pies. Bananas hollowed out and filled with peanut butter (creamy... not crunchy... crunchy filled bananas are an abomination!) Frozen chocolate covered bananas on sticks. Fried plantains in butter or rum.

Yes. I bid bananas. They are tasty. I hope she lieks them.

all scenarios suck

if you wish to live happy just live happy

All I can offer her is my shitty couch and my shitty one room apartment and my shitty gamecube with only 6 gamecube games and my refrigerator full of nothing except milk, bread and frozen shrimp and my shitty love for any girl who's willing to accept it.

because of Parkinsons?

>>41
I suppose that indicates that I was not relying on wikipedia? I am, in fact, that smart.

>>48
Apparently you aren't.

>What can YOU offer the Sky Queen in her (theoretical) time of need?

Nothing. She can fuck right off.

Just kidding. I can move the computers out of the spare room into my room. Unfortunately though we just sold our spare bed, so she'd have to sleep on the floor.

>Will your door be open to Her?

She'll have to knock first, but I don't see why not.

>What will She find inside?

Boredom and depression. And a vast array of videogames.

So, .71, I ask- What can YOU offer the Sky Queen in her (theoretical) time of need?

Constant blaring of weird music, a house run by a nocturnal violence loving madman. Good beer

Do any of you plan to present her with a potential "better situation" when the time comes?

No... it's not my fucking place...

Will your door be open to Her?

If she comes here looking for a place to stay... yeah so long as she helps pay rent.

What will She find inside?

A mess, a lot of apathy, some games, weird movies and music. Not much

Hey, I probably would give anyone shelter if he knocks on my door and mentions he is from the internet. Especially entirely fictive personas.

>>51
Lulz, you best be in college or the ghetto. Sadly I've seen too many places that are neither. Does it smell funny too? Like cigarettes and rotting food?

>>10
Why can't I be on the bottom? The view is better.

>>52
I would too. It just sounds fabulously interesting.

(Where do you live, by the way?)

>>54
1358 apartment #8 Patterson Street Eugene Oregon United States of America 97405

>>55
As they say: fukken saved.

>>55
I wonder who the hapless schmo is that you are trying to herd Internet Immigrants to? Also saved.

Glitches in the matrix tell me that it is most likely his own.

If you are serious with this, you should check out this website:

http://www.hospitalityclub.org/

>>58
thx Gary at least I had plausible deniability before your post

ITT: anon converses with himself.

>>61
No, not all the time. But in this thread I had the honour of being mistaken for both Cracky and Mysterious Admin. Everyone is getting more and more alike until this ends up as grey goo.

>>62

Not grey goo, but tang.
We will all end up as tang one day.

>>53
neither.... poor part of town maybe, but not a "ghetto". We are all middle class in this neighborhood.
I am just nocturnal and... yeah...
I have very odd tastes in music and movies.

Dear OP, I really fail to graps the train of thoughts that led to your posting this.