>>1
I am inclined to believe this man. Here is my personal preparation.
How To Prepare Cracky:
Ingredients:
1 cup olive oil
1 stick butter
Hemp twine
Somethings to stuff her with
Instructions:
- Gently remove Cracky's wrappings
- Carefully wash all of Cracky's openings and cavities
- Smear butter under Cracky's breast skin
- Smear more butter between Cracky's thighs
- Massage oil all over Cracky
- Stuff Cracky until she's completely full
- Sew Cracky shut.
- Bind Cracky's thighs
- Cover Cracky in foil
- Bake Cracky at 350F for about 2000 minutes.
- When you insert a probe into the deepest, thickest parts of Cracky it should read at least 160.
- Baste only if it please you.
If you do it right Cracky will always come out better than turkey. Bon Apetit!
(...and I've made myself ill, huzzah!)