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File: 1197770253964.jpg -(92844 B, 290x336) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
92844 No.1   [Reply]

In the name of the Goddess, the Sister and the Holy Admin. Amen.

Forgive me Sky Queen for I have sinned. This is my first confession since last year. I came here to confess only a single sin, a sin so blasphemous that it singularly tormented me all throughout the day:

I was horny this morning and thought I could use thy image for fappage material. I scrounged for the most approriate pic I could find; sailor Cracky, which was the only picture I had in my disposal, won't be enough to satiate my erupting libido. I though to myself, "How 'bout two sets in simultaneous slide show ? It might work. I tried but failed.

Now I was getting desperate. I managed to operate my Pentium 3 powered Acer laptop along side by side my hyperthreading Dell Inspiron to have two Crackys in my vision. I pressed the shifty fullscreen icon, first on the laptop, then on the desktop, almost instantly for I did not want one slideshow to lag behind. So it went. My hand firmly grasped on to my cock. The bright lights have been turned on. But something went awry.

An unexpected set of thy most beloved sister, F(x) appeared before me, sheening white, teal-blue hair in all it's full glory. Suddenly my hand pumped up and down like a piston and I was in confused euphoria. Oh, it was horrible my Goddess. Too horrible. I splooged and finished but it was too late to realize what I have done. ..

I can't go on. Give me your worst punishment, my Queen. I deserve all of it.

May this follower be forgiven and see fit for thy grace.

>> No.2  

I'm gonna jump all over this one...

...but this applies to every post in the stupid religious styling.

THIS IS SHIT. STOP IT.

That is all.

>> No.3  

>>1
An act of contrition must be made young anon. In order to bring yourself closer to the holy mother, you must shall don the markings and go forth into the world for one week. Only in this way can you understand the suffering you sinful act has brought the jewel of the heavens.

>> No.4  

>>2
look bro, so like you talk like a fag and your shit's all fucked up.

Like anyone is going to listen to the king of shitposting.

>> No.5  

>>2
To continue...

If you think this stupid self-flagellation and half-assed veneration of your plastic Jesus is clever, you're slow. If you think it's going to impress Cracky, you're just deranged. All these glowing words can't veneer the dogshit you're peddling, not the least of all to Cracky herself. God forbid she ever reads this trash, she'll only giggle at the extra foot you just dug in your grave. Why? Because the only thing worse than a psychotic stalker is a psychotic stalkers with masturbatory delusions. I hope one of you half-wits calls her the Skyqueen to her face one day. And when she looks at you like crud she just scraped off her shoe, I hope your soul freezes and your cock withers away.

What mindless self-congratulation is this shit? It is such an unsatisfactory, miserable stew of words you prepare. As if somehow acting like she's God will actually make her Jesus. No matter how many times you prostrate yourself before her, you will never be regarded with even the slightest human warmth. You are the smell of burning flesh, the colour of pus, the texture of cat cock to her. Your sniveling prostration and stilted doggerel only further prove to her that are spineless husks of people.

In short, this fagotry brings you further from her. Probably further from everything. I imagine it doesn't even satisfy you except as a hopeless exercise in elementary English composition.

In closing:
Fuck off and die (KS and anyone else).

>> No.6  

>>4
Hehe, you admitted I'm king.

Take that shit and smoke it, you inbred retard.

>> No.7  

I always get a rise when I get troll posts for my troll efforts.

>> No.8  

>>5
tl;dr
You talk like a fag and your shit's all fucked up.
Put down the thesaurus and gb2 troll talk.

file Darrin under played out internet shit

>> No.9  

>>7
I figured there was a good chance this was trolling given the nature of the material. However, all my invective still applies to other less facetious posts.

>>8
You keep saying 'my shits all fucked up'

Care to translate for us non-crazies, sweety?

And saying 'put down the thesaurus' is like saying 'I had to look your big words up', avoid that phrase at all cost.

[C]W

>> No.10  

>>9

Trying to keep reaching at stars

>> No.11  

>>10
Oh lawdy, is dat sum ESL?

>> No.12  
File: 1197774503057.png -(279284 B, 564x300) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
279284

>>9
*I had to look your big words up

You said it, not I.

>> No.13  

>>12
A very astute observation. I did in fact write the words in my own post.

What were you trying to prove with this shit? That you can willfully ignore context? Do I need to explain why my use of the pronoun 'I' did not imply the writer, but rather the writer of the previous post? If so, you're probably one of those gruesome American literacy statistics and beyond saving.

(sageing at full force)

>> No.14  

>>10
>>12

The only way to troll a hyper-literate troll.

>> No.15  

>>14
Not troll.Someday he is understanding how foolish posts are looking.

>> No.16  

Type at keyboard full force and hope no one reads the whole mess=[Colour]Watch!nq19BBWmGs posting style.

Also I do not think he is understanding how Sage works.

>> No.17  

>>14
/grin

>>15
How exactly the hell am I not a troll?

>>16
Shall we have another ESL thread, then?

>> No.18  

>>17
Reading in this case to understand me. Troll is you and foolish one. You quit this thread you quit a thousand times. You go to hell you dumb fellow. I laugh when the words are posted now I pity. I am hurting your brains now. Poetry in typing. Apollo of internet arrows hitting bad posts. Do you hurted now? Do you cry to moisten you penis touching yourself to my typing?

>> No.19  

>>18
I'm guessing babel fish.

>> No.20  

>>19
Explaining much about foolish man. Learning to type English will make better person liked by board.

>> No.21  

Darrin deserves to be shot in the face with a penis. His own penis. That he was forced at gun(penis?)-point to cut off himself with a piece of A4 paper.

>> No.22  

>>21
Yes please! Where do I sign up!?

>> No.23  

>>22
Just $100 via PayPal to receive your instructional booklet.

>> No.24  

It is expected [Colour]Watch!nq19BBWmGs. Foolishness shown and then change to topic to hide shame. Beating you with words that make you shown to board as you look. Hiding in the only way you are. poet with sword I humiliate you.

>> No.25  

>>22

I'm pretty sure if I was Cracky, I'd see you as just some pathetic retard on a stalking board. Less is more. Spending un-needed time on grammar and shit on a board like this shows you really lack a life by trying to appear smarter than anyone while everyone else looks at you as some no-life fucktard who actually seems to try to impress anyone here as if your self-esteem is so low that whether we give a shit about you might make your day. Yeah, that's a run-on sentence fuckwad, and this is me giving a shit.

Yeah, you'll respond nitpicking little grammar and shit but get your head out of your ass and breathe some fresh air and you'll see how shitty you smell to some people here.

>> No.26  

>>25
Always [Colour]Watch!nq19BBWmGs is making posts about him. Very wanting attention he metamorphosis thread into [Colour]Watch!nq19BBWmGs. I telling to quit internet never am listened to.

Cracky is only reason to be here. Why lover of little boy [Colour]Watch!nq19BBWmGs even come.

>> No.27  

>>9
wasn't that a line from idiocracy actually.... great movie.
well something like it...

>> No.28  

Afraid of response. Wear is the words [Colour]Watch!nq19BBWmGs. All post is nothing when brains are made foolish. I laugh at you not having testicles for response. You use AIM I still laugh.

>> No.29  

>>27
"look bro, so like you talk like a fag and your shit's all fucked up."
yeah when the main character (damn I forgot his name) was in the doctors office in the future. That happened just before he started screaming because he didn't have a barcode on his hand.

>> No.30  

The qualification almost is as the doubtful refusal _ but this one _ nao doubtful of "English is not completely language" of the mine of the innate one; report/ratio, that one is immesso before some in-Americans of marcature, one another attempt, that one, he is of the English who the extreme assassin vailiant is.

>> No.31  

>>27
>>29
That's so awesome. I just went to my parents house and that movie happened to be on TV. I started right when the trash cascades through Frito's house. So I watched that whole scene. I just jumped on my laptop to point out the reference and you've beaten me to it.

Now I'm gonna go watch the Strangers With Candy movie.

As for ESL Man, you'll have to wait until tomorrow for a response. I got some shit to do tonight (blizzard! = dangerfun).

(snows just starting, this shit better pick up)

>> No.32  

>>5
You spent far too much thought on this to be just trolling. You are defending Cracky! Hail her new messiah.

>> No.33  

>>32
Let my clarify this: You try to speak for her which means you believe you understood her ways. That is a dark alley nobody wants to be caught in.

>> No.34  

>>32

>>You spent far too much thought on this to be just trolling.

That took me approximately five minutes. Have you read the story that took me an hour? Either way...
...first 'King', now 'Messiah'! I like the way you guys think.

>> No.35  

yo gross, punishment indeed. banished from here, for owning a dell and other such sins.

also you are gay for fapping to a boy.

>> No.36  

>>34
Messiah as in 'messiah complex'.

>> No.37  

>>36
Naw.

>> No.38  

>>35

If thy be comandeth me to be a lover of cock, so shall it be for as long as I am forgiven of mine sins.

>> No.39  

>>35
hard gay

>> No.40  
File: 1197842176306.jpg -(102230 B, 572x567) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
102230

>>38
I will set fire to everything you hold dear.

>>39
Pic related (Razor Ramon HG)

>> No.41  

>>29
Actual quote:
"Well, don't want to sound like a dick or nothin', but, ah... it says on your chart that you're fucked up. Ah, you talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded. What I'd do, is just like... like... you know, like, you know what I mean, like... "

>>25
How did I miss this comment? God damn...this is an awesome comment.

I'm not gonna bother nitpicking your grammar because you're beyond any remedies I could offer. Could you project any more self loathing onto the nearest target? Go, man, go! Just 'chop-chop, dead' already.

I, on the other hand, will continue to put trivial amounts of effort (none) into writing this way (I don't proof) and continue to look more awesome than you, effortlessly. As for what Cracky thinks about me... I don't even know where to start. Are you new here? Do you not know who I am? Is it the words I added to my name that are confusing you? I'm gonna break it down now:

I
Don't
Give
A
Shit
About
Cracky

I AM A TROLL
A TROLL
TROLL

Any more monosyllabic and I'd have to grunt and fart in your general direction.

Now eat a flaming turd and choke, you stunted troglodyte.

>> No.42  

IN CRACKY'S NAME, I BIND UP EVERY DEMON COMING ACROSS THE COMPUTER LINES, AND I RETURN THEM AND ANY CURSES. IN CRACKY'S NAME, I COVER MYSELF IN THE MENSES OF THE SKY QUEEN. I COVER THIS COMPUTER AND THE INTERNET ROAD I TRAVEL IN THE BLOOD OF CRACKY. I TAKE AUTHORITY AND DOMINION OVER ALL WEB SITES, WEB MASTERS, WEB DOMAINS, AND DEMONS OF THE INTERNET SUPER HIGHWAY SO THEY DO NOT CROSS MY PATH. I DISPATCH ANGELS AHEAD OF ME TO PROTECT ME.

IN CRACKY'S NAME, I CUT ALL UNGODLY SILVER CORDS AND LAY LINES.

AS YOUR WAR CLUB AND WEAPONS OF WAR I BREAK DOWN, UNDAM, AND BLOW UP ALL WALLS OF PROTECTION AROUND ALL HOMOSEXUALS, WITCHES, WARLOCKS, WIZARDS, SATANISTS, ATHEISTS, LIBERALS, DEMOCRATS, SORCERERS, AND THE LIKE, AND I BREAK THE POWER OF ALL CURSES, HEXES, VEXES, SPELLS, CHARMS, FETISHES, PSYCHIC PRAYERS, PSYCHIC THOUGHTS, ALL WITCHCRAFT, SORCERY, SATIRE, PARODY, MAGIC, VOODOO, ALL MIND CONTROL, JINXES, POTIONS, BEWITCHMENTS, DEATH, DESTRUCTION, SICKNESS, PAIN, TORMENT, PSYCHIC POWER, PSYCHIC WARFARE, PRAYER CHAINS, INCENSE AND CANDLE BURNING, INCANTATIONS, CHANTING, UNGODLY BLESSINGS AND HOODOO, CRYSTALS, AND EVERYTHING ELSE BEING SENT MY WAY, OR MY FAMILY MEMBER’S WAY, OR ANY OF THE FAITHFUL'S WAY, AND I RETURN IT, AND THE DEMONS TO THE SENDER, TEN FOLD.

AMEN.

>> No.43  

>>41

2/10

>> No.44  

>>43
You don't have to be nice, you won't hurt Darrin's feelings.

>> No.45  

>>44
Amen, I have the emotional mutability of a house fire.

>> No.46  

>>45
look bro, so like you talk like a fag and your shit's all fucked up.

>> No.47  

>>46
I posted the correct quote in another thread. Fetch.

>> No.48  

>>47
look bro, so like you talk like a fag and your shit's all fucked up.

>> No.49  

>>47
Don't worry Darrin. There are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick ass lives. My first wife was 'tarded. She plays WoW now.

>> No.50  

>>48
I posted the correct quote. Fetch.

>>49
Very nice, sir. Very nice. I don't see how WoW is equivalent to being a pilot, though.

>> No.51  

>>50
look bro, so like you talk like a fag and your shit's all fucked up.

>> No.52  

>>51
Suddenly, third grade comebacks.

>> No.53  

>>52

I is quite contention of my english level. The question here is if you are quite contention of yours because all I saw is many seskodilian words but no inherent meaning in any of them. Please be at ease Mr. Troll for above all else we are all one and the same.

>> No.54  

>>52
look bro, so like you talk like a fag and your shit's all fucked up.

>> No.55  

>>54
stopping trolls by being annoying and repetitive.

If it actually was that simple than there'd be no trolls.

>> No.56  

>>55
Suddenly, third grade comebacks.

>> No.57  

>>56
oh... heh how embarrassing... I didn't realize you were trying to force a meme...

>> No.58  

Behave boys and girls.



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