>>5
I have asked myself that many times in my 29 years.

I am certain now that I am incapable of being happy as I understand it. The closest I get is contentment, and that is a very rare and fleeting sensation. I like to think I would be happy with Olivia, but I know it would only be a matter of time before the happy drugs my brain is manufacturing would wear off and I would be left even further paralyzed by life, having lost that one thing I could hope for.

I fear sometimes that I will never be capable of loving another person.