Story tiem, bounceme
Pic sort-of related.
So, last week I was in Boston, to discuss some contractual shit with a client. I could not believe my good fortune, since I'm not exactly the most qualified dude in the company, but I wasn't going to bitch -- free trip to the US, lots of free time, all the hot clubs, etc. I wasn't going to pass this one up :)
Right. So, on the second day, I was sitting in this cafe, not believing those cunts won't allow you to smoke indoors (seriously America, WTF?), when I saw this pretty chick sitting 2 tables away. She wasn't exactly hawt, and she sort of looked like she was jailbait, but I thought, what the hell. I'm leaving the fuckin' country, what do I care. Time to DAT ASS.
Thing is, I'm generally chickenshit, so I was sort of conflicted. What do I do? Go there, try to chat her up, fail miserably, and feel like shit, or do I keep staring at her, wonder what might have happened until she leaves, and feel like shit?
But then I remembered my main source of inspiration in these cases and decided to man the fuck up. I'm sort of ashamed to admit, said source is Courage Wolf. But whatever, it works.
So I went to her table, and politely asked her if she minded if I sat there and bought her another cappuccino. She looked at me startled, like I'd asked her if she minded if I slit her throat or some shit. But I didn't look too creepy, I guess, cause she sorta blushed and said okay.
I sat down, and thought -- now what? I asked her, candidly enough, why she had looked at me like that. She told me that a few years ago, she had had some troubles with stalkers. Stalkers? I asked her if she was famous or something. She smiled and said "sort of, yes". I explained that I wasn't "from 'round here", and if she'd mind telling me about it.
She told me that a few years ago, someone had posted some pictures of her on an internet board and shit hit the fan.
And then it hit me -- the sort-of pretty, short-haired girl I was sitting at the table with was Cracky-chan. Brix were shat.
Course I did my best not to let that show, and I think I did pretty well -- partly, I guess, because I wasn't around when the shitstorm began. (I'm sort of a newfag, I guess)
I asked her to tell me about it, since I was genuinely curious to know her side of the story. She told me she had several accounts on LJ, and one of those got hacked, and her "rather private pictures" were exposed to the world.
"Pr0n?" I asked.
"No," she said, "just, you know... bored teenager stuff, I guess."
I did my best to look like I was trying to imagine what sort of bored teenager stuff looked like. (I briefly considered putting on a cool face and going "Problem, miss?" Briefly.)
Anyway, we spent another hour or so talking, then I told her I had to get back to the hotel. I admit, I said this in the hopes that she might accompany me, if you know what I mean ;)
We went out, I lit a cigarette, offered her one, and she said "For a /b/tard, you're rather nice", and kissed me -- just a quick peck on the lips, sort of thing. Then she turned and started running towards the bus station.
Brix were shat again -- not only did I meet the Skyqueen Herself, but she actually kissed me.
So I looked after her, thinking "YOU WILL NOT FUCK THIS UP!!!!!!11one" so I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said "FRESH" and had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "Forget it, yo homes, to Bel-Air!"
I pulled up to a house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby "Yo homes, smell you later!" Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there to settle my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air.