>>43

As to age anything post pubescent will be tougher and gamier the older it is, but there are cooking methods and marinades to deal with that. I suppose to ensure the best quality meat, you'd have to acquire the stock young and raise it to slaughter yourself, but you'd run the risk of getting attached. I suppose a market for it exists but, finding it would be rather difficult if not impossible, which leaves us with procuring free-range long pig in the wild.

Assuming the hunt was successful you'd still need a place to process your kill, fortunately most basement dwellers soundproof their lairs as a matter of course. A fully tiled bathroom could easily double as a makeshift abattoir. The bones can be ground into bonemeal and used to grow Cracky-organic produce that you can later cook with your meat.

For long term storage the best product by far would be to make sausage and then freeze dry and package them, they'd last up to 25 years if kept in a dry and cool location, which basements fortunately are.

So years after when the mood strikes you to crack open a nice bottle of wine and have some Cracky-bangers and mash they'll be as fresh as the day the sausage was stuffed. Though jerky does seem a good choice as well though the jerky would have to be cut into disks so when they dry they can still be circle jerks.