I'm a nutjob myself and fuck you normalcy. There are several different ways to be nuts. Becoming insane by mistake is terrible and noone wants that. However, to become voluntarily insane is a different matter: that is, to withdraw yourself from the accepted norm in which all those gray 9-to-5 'tards are sectarized. To do this and to carry it to the end is the best decission you will ever make, as long as you survive its ordeals.
When you are 19 you still have time to escape. However, let me spoil you the following years. There comes a point, usually later if you go to university, in which you and those around you suffer the definitive attack from normalcy. This happens when you get into 9-to-5 and realize its going to be 9-to-5 until you retire and people start to have children because they have been told to do so, and in general people do everything they've been told to do. Most of the people who weren't already slaves then take the decission to stop any struggle, to forget about art, about dreaming, about smelling cracky's perfume like >>8 does. They surrender and become one of those fucking mindless zombies.
From your age perspective sometimes this sounds better: "I wanna be normal!". That sounds like you're going to feel better than being a misfit, but if you listen to me, it doesn't pay. Yeah in the short term if you're able to drown your soul it might look like you get some peace of mind. But do yourself a favour and find people around 40 years old who work 9-to-5. Look what they've become. You will notice their backs are aching, they are already dying inside and live in some state of constant mild depression which they've accepted as "normal life", in an illness that infected them as soon as they surrendered to normalcy.
I've been told by people above 30, "oh why do years make us be less and less excited about stuff?". No its not age, its that you took the wrong fucking decissions and stayed normal and became another fucking zombie, maybe because you weren't brave enough, maybe because you just didn't even suspect there was a way out. Very few pass. However if you are into Cracky for real, you might become one of the lucky few.
If you're 19 you still have some years to plan your escape from zombieland. It might hurt, it might feel alone, nutty, whatever. But in the long term if you do it right your life will be so fucking intense to a point you would have never imagined. Get entranced by art, open up your head with philosophy and drugs, and most of it all let yourself be devoured by Cracky and trust her to be your guide through your life. When everything else falls apart, She will be there to comfort you. Let her be your light, let her show you that which is beyond.
Or you can get past your "phases" and get accepted into normalcy :lols: