I aint saving that on any hard drive, or spending any time looking at it, in fact, I'd rather not have it on .71 at all, shopped or otherwise.

You're on your own.

... it was just a thought, a rash and hasty thought, but WTF - I live in a smoke-free zone so burning him in effigy is out of the question.

For God's sake, if you're going to issue exhortations to Reynolds-baiting, you could at least provide a photo that provides a firmer foundation for vicious mockery than that one.

That was taken when he was only 46, and even with the "turkey-neck" effect and all, he really doesn't look too bad in it, in a crusty/bohemian sort of way.

If you're going to use anything as a basis for vicious photoshopping, use THIS one, where he's developed a middle-aged paunch and all his hair has fallen out...

>>4
or even better, this utterly grotesque case of "self-inflicted rule 34", which doubtless owes its origin to one of Reynolds's disgusting periodic compulsions to debase and humiliate himself before the cynical and contemptuous camwhore whose casual insults form the only sad pseudo-illumination of his otherwise dark and destitute existence.

During the period of "Lolichan" Dolores's activity on the Internet, it was thought best to withhold this photo, for fear that the already over-excited Lolichan - who, as is generally known and acknowledged, lived only in the forlorn hope of cyber-sex with Reynolds - might lose control of herself altogether.

Now that Loli has retired from the Interwebz and joined the real world, however, this highly incitatory material can at last be released.

I am going to attempt to summon all the strength I can muster to stop laughing insanely.

I wonder what an outsider would think of this thread.

>>8

probably: 'Who is the fat baldy man standing dejected in the nude, and why is he doing this on the internet'?

>>5
I wouldnt click that with your mouse, not for any amount of money

It burns my eyes a like fire.

>>11

Oh dear lord why can I not stop laughing.

>>13
why would you ever want to stop laughing
I wish I could again

>>5
I already knew Alex was a very devoted and frequent troll but I never would have thought he would be a fucking p0rncamwhore. Did he REALLY really do this, and what would be his worthless attempt of an excuse?

>>5
This can't be real...
Why would he be this stupid? We have his name, address, phone number, we know what he does for a living, why oh dear lord why?

Too funny.

>>16
It would kind of interest me to know just how many of the people who've used terms like "funny", "laugh" and "lol" in this thread have actually been using them in any sense that I - and the sort of civilized, decent human being that I'm representative of - would even vaguely recognize to be the right one.

Schwill, I would venture to guess, when he says "laughing", probably really does mean "laughing", as I would understand the term and activity. He seems like a guy who's not entirely lacking in intelligence and fundamental good nature, despite the rumours I hear of his mental illness.

The "lols" and "so funny"s from the rest of you, though, I fear, have as their referent only that "mirthless chimpanzee screech" that I've referred to several times in the past, and that doesn't have very much at all to do with the joy of healthy human laughter as I understand it.

Because, of course, my contributions to this thread - which was probably started with the grim, mirthless, stupid, "chimpanzee" determination to attack and humiliate me - really do have no mysterious ulterior sexual or conspirational purpose beyond just that: giving people (even my mirthless enemies) a bit of a laugh.

Personally, I'd prefer if I managed to get a laugh out of you with my subtle interpolations of notorious British television interviews from 1976 into threads about Cracky and punk rock. But if your taste in humour runs rather to fat men with tiny penises - a convenient model for which I happen always to have to hand in my own humble person - well, that's fine too. Humour can be broad without ceasing to be humour. There's room in my pantheon of comedy heroes for Benny Hill as well as Whit Stillman.

My worry, though, as I say, is that you people's puzzling and scratching your heads about all this - "can it be real?", "what's his excuse?", "but we have his address..." - probably means that your generation are long since completely and irredeemably dead to genuine humour and to that adventure of self-exposure - be it in the subtlest or, as in this case, the very crudest and most literal sense - which genuine humour always implies and demands.

You were all brought up in a world where everyone spends every waking - and most likely also every sleeping and dreaming - second sweating and planning about how they can best protect themselves and shield themselves against any possibility of being mocked, humiliated, and "owned".

The key to the posts above that seem to have baffled so many of you is that I was raised in a different world entirely and have never devoted even a moment's thought or worry to how to avoid "losing face" and all that nonsense. I like to laugh and I'm quite as willing to laugh at my own absurdities and inadequacies as I am at the absurdities and inadequacies of others.

People's knowing my name, profession etc., in any case, is certainly nothing that would make me hesitate for even a second about staging a good joke. Maybe I'm naive, but frankly I can't imagine anyone deciding that they don't want their operating instructions for a Chinese vacuum cleaner translated into English by me just because there's a nude photograph of me floating around on the Internet. But if anyone really does think and feel like that, my only response is: "Well, fuck 'em then".

Geht Dein Fuss auf Wahrem nicht, wie auf Teppichen?

Drum, mein Genius, tritt' bar ins Leben, und sorge nicht!

>>17

Wall of text... don't tell me, it's Alex right? I can sense pretentious asshole from a mile away.

>>17

In true 'Blue Peter' fashion:

Here's one I done earlier.

Now you return like a dog to its own vomit for more.

Leave this place. There's nothing for you here.

>>19
Please don't engage him directly. Remember, he's the kind of person to post nudes just to draw attention, even if negative, to himself.

In his world, any sort of communication beats counting the tumbleweeds in his mind.

>>17
There is no way I'm ever going have a friendly conversation with you, not only because I've had enough of your crap but because you can lie as much as you want, these arent jokes, they're opening in your bi-weekly flamewar.

That's all there ever going to be for you here, and you know it. I am convinced it is precisely why you keep coming back.

Just leave, if you're not the troll you claim you arent. It's beyond fixing, if you ever were genuinely interested in that. But we all know you'll be back, to be the eternal victim of the anti Alex club...

>>21
Yes, I'm fully aware of how ultimately pointless it is to try to engage or discuss with anyone, about anything, on a board like this.

But, as I've said, the indications are that there are maybe three or four people of some degree of intelligence and good will who drop in here occasionally, so maybe the idea is not so absurd after all that there's a "salvage-able" side to the "Cracky community" that can be encouraged and developed by someone like myself.

A large number of you obviously really are mentally deficient, mentally ill (and not, it seems, those who have the biggest reputation for being so), or sexually abnormal in ways that are beyond hope of redemption.

For the few of you, though, whose mentality, morality and sexuality are not yet entirely and irredeemably fucked, the presence here of someone like myself, who am basically mentally, morally and sexually very healthy, is probably a benefit.

Without attempting to deny my weakness for the odd engaging buxom teenie-bopper of the Camel variety, I think that I provide, for example, an important counter-weight to the probably sadly significant numbers of genuine pedophiles who have been attracted to this cult that has grown up around an "eternal 15-year-old".

My own foray into "camwhore p0rn" just now happens actually to have been something which has confirmed me in my - due to the Camel incident (among others) often, I have to admit, somewhat shaken - belief in the fundamentally non-ephebophilic nature of my own sexuality.

Contrary to the arrant vicious nonsense spoken above, the spirit in which I posted a nude photo of myself was not a spirit of "attention-seeking" at all. I think, on consideration, that the spirit it was done in was a spirit which prompted one of my great enduring heroines, the marvellous and beautiful Germaine Greer, to do a pretty similar thing back in the 70s.

Germaine Greer is now over seventy and the fact that I get a hard-on every time I look at or listen to her is not just a joy to me in itself but also a great moral reassurance for a man who spends far too much time masturbating to images and fantasies of females who are between thirty and thirty-five years younger than him.

If Greer has remained persistently, even if changingly, physically very beautiful for forty or fifty years now, this has certainly got a lot to do also with the woman's touching and breathtaking moral beauty, which takes the form of a child-like, and therefore basically invulnerable and inassailable innocence. When the editorial board of the London "counter-culture" magazine "Oz" undertook to "break taboos" by publishing nude photos of themselves, for example, it was, typically, Germaine alone who submitted an image that engaged in any degree of bravery and honesty with the actual issue of personal nudity and pornography (pic-related).

>>23
There's no denying, of course, that the topic "Germaine Greer" is unequivocally non-Cracky-related, as is just about every topic that I raise on this board and raised on Crackyhouse.

But, as I say, the "Cracky community", with its ambiguously sexual/religious/romantic adulation of an "eternal 15-year-old" and its strong admixture of genuinely threatening, unpleasant, dangerous personalities, can certainly do with a degree of counter-balance in the direction of discussion about matters and persons as far removed from "the active stalking of resisting pubescents" as possible.

I see myself and Germaine - two splendid individuals in the safely declining years of our lives - to represent important and valuable contributions in this respect.

Once again, Alex posts something entirely retarded and when we make the expected he response he pounces back with "you're all too stupid to get the joke! Guffaw!"

Getting a bit predictable.

>>24

Just because you don't have your own column in the Guardian, don't go taking out on us, I am sure there's a website for pretentious, snobbish old men who want to be Germaine Greer somewhere.

Now get to fuck, Alex.

I will try my best to be mentally and moraly deficient in all my Alex unrelated posts in an effort to balance them with my mentally and moraly deficient Alex related post so as to not add to any necessity of a counterbalance in the form of the basically mentally, morally and sexually very healthy Alex.

>>17
We are just careful. You can afford to be careless and flamboyant because you have hardly anything to live for. No family, no children, a job where nobody cares who you are, no real reputation to uphold, you're just a bitter old man waiting to die.

blah blah blah

its ok but

1. Where is this public info from Alex
2. What are people waiting to send those pics to every contact he knows IRL?

>>30

1)There's dox on this site somewhere (or was it CH?), phone number, etc, but I can't be arsed looking though the threads... I expended enough mental effort already putting Alex in his place this weekend.

If you find it, you may want to bring post it ITT and see if anyone takes up the gauntlet. Happy hunting.

2)Alex having contact with people IRL? Get real, it's Alex-no-mates we're talking about here.

>>30
>>31
Dont care either way. The only thing I'd have to tell him is that he is not welcomed here, and if stays out of here, there is nothing to say.

But fuck you for bumping this insipid thread and bumping his picture to page 0.

>>31
definitely was on ch. I'm searching pages 1-50 in reverse order to not miss any
Maybe someone else can check 50-100,100-150, etc.

>>33
He had admin powers, and cleaned it all already, I'm sure...

Just drop it, never mention him again, ignore him if he comes back.

It's the only way it ever will be over: souring the milk hasnt worked, more of the same wont work either, he thrives on sour milk...

Just starve the fucker.

>>34

Funny thing about milk, it never really goes bad, it just changes states. BTW the Moon is made of cheese. Anyhow, it was just something unintentional I noticed while a bit drunk, having some cheese with my wine, the flow of the hair and general lines tend to sync up, or maybe it's just a case of too much wine. What vintage you say? Oh, its a lovely 2005' didn't you know? Got a cellar full of it.

>>35

Wonderfully executed as this image may be, I only wish it could kill it with fire.

>>35
"Paunchy paunchy git,
Thesaurae thumbed to useless scrap,
Ten thousand Paypals paid to fap
To whores who no more read your shit than we.

For they could not love you
But still your love was true.
This board was never meant for one
As beautiful as you..."

>>37

>>38
Actually if I understand the "artist's" subtext correctly, he's implying that Alex should go Van D'oh on his fromunda cheese factory and quit his whining. IDK.

Veri: remuse, for the times when it didn't amuse the first time around.

>>39

TBH, after seeing >>37 I wondered if it was Alex himself who made >>35 after a weekend-long study session on Photoshop or similar. Nothing changes, I still wish he would cease to exist.

and then?

Bampin' fur teh lulz.

>>42

In the name of Cracky, DIE YOU CUNT!!! THE PENALTY FOR HERESY IS DEATH!!!

>>43

This is like when sandmonkies throw stones at a big rock and call it the devil.