>>52
"Its" life is, in many respects, a terrible strain, "it" has to admit. "It" lives without native country, family, friends, or certain means of livelihood, so yes, there are moments of weakness, moments when "it" simply doesn't have the strength to live by "its" own high principles and turns to seek love where it knows there can be no love, companionship where "it" knows there can be no companionship.
"It" also suffers from the - actually far from mysterious, and perfectly psychologically comprehensible - vice of a morbid fascination with the very things it hates the most, where these things present themselves in especially accentuated form.
The things "it" hates the most are: stupidity and hypocrisy. And this site - to a far, far greater degree even than the execrable Crackyhouse - is a constant towering monument to both of these.
You feign spasms of spiritual and intellectual ecstasy over a text in the great Brahmanic tradition of asceticism and inward retirement from the vanities of this world -or do so, at least, once one of your buddies has made it your collective property and pissing ground by scrawling "Crackyfags" and "Anonymous" all over it. You blether on pretentiously about yoga and enlightenment and realms invisible to the common man.
And yet, when it comes down to it, the values you haul out of your cramped little mental closet to try to beat your enemy with are values which reveal not only a total lack of sympathy with, but also an utter incomprehension of the ascetic, world-questioning values propounded by texts like the Bhagavad Gita.
"Why doesn't he have a tenured position at a respectable university? Why isn't he married with 2.4 children, and owner of a Lexus and of a four-bedroomed house within easy commuting distance of his properly officially documented place of employment? Anyone who doesn't have these things is a LOSER! LOSER LOSER LOSER!"
This, as I've often remarked, is the shameful secret at the heart of all the "nihilistic", "anarchistic" bluster of the /b/tard. Scratch at the surface of all the professed iconoclasm and non-conformism for just a second or two and you'll find, underneath it, an intimidated, obediently conforming conservatism that seethes with fear and hatred and contempt for anyone who dares to actually BE different and to concretely LIVE OUT the rejection of society's values.
YOU, I am sure, after your few years of "nihilistic" bluster, will settle down into a job in the Civil Service and a semi-detached house in the suburbs and a sexual relationship that will be soothingly and numbingly free of all the terror and humiliation and moments of exaltation that are characteristic of an "unhoused", non-conforming sexuality - and then you will no longer have to even pretend, along with the other /b/boarders, to hate Daddy and to despise the world Daddy created. You can kneel at Daddy's feet and join him in spitting and snarling at those, like myself, live out their rebellion through more than just words, and for longer than a year or a month or two.
And you can admit, at last, that you are constitutionally incapable of understanding the first thing about dramas and dilemmas like those that are recounted in the beautiful and profound text your buddy here - or who knows, possibly you yourself - has just made his pissing ground.
I'm the closest thing to an Arjuna-like Warrior of the Spirit and a Faithful Servant of the Absolute that YOU are ever likely to encounter, believe me. And you've made it very clear with all your trainee-stockbroker sneering - "why doesn't he have a respectable position within an accredited and regularly government-approved institution? why isn't a man his age married and bearer of some properly-stamped certificate of sexual and social normalcy?" - how infinitely far you are and will always be from even the glimmering of an understanding of what ANY of that stuff may actually be about.