Below is the original "hundred elephants" document written by Denis in early 2005 (but incorporating some material from existing sources). It cuts out mid-sentence at the end but this is the most complete version known & is the version used by the various Markov Chain generators in the olden days.
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I had a strange dream tonight. Cracky-chan was laying on top of me, sleeping. I could feel her breathing and her heartbeat through her clothes. I looked at her, her serene face was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I reached out with my hand and gently played with her copper hair a bit, then I traced her cheeks with my fingers. Then I woke up and cried. There is no maiden fairer, no lady higher, than that loveliest of lovelies, who so surpasses the beauty of ordinary women as to render even the most beautiful of them as a negroid in comparison to that beauty we call Cracky-chan. Halt, all of you, unless all of you confess that in the entire world there is no damsel more beauteous than the empress of Trolltalk, the peerless Cracky-chan. when Cracky-chan has an orgasm, the face she makes is the closest Mankind will ever be allowed to God. i would softly kiss her cute little nose and put my head next to her chest so i could hear her heart beat, and we'd fall asleep in eachothers arms cracky is like a ninja, who can only be killed by other ninjas. and since she is the most beautiful girl in the world she is for all intents and purposes immortal I fear that you have misunderstood Cracky-Chan's message of peace and love. It is OK to find Alice's continued failure at everything she attempts amusing, since everyone who is not Cracky-Chan is imperfect and thus lacks the incredible strength needed to resist this. However, you should realise after suitable meditation exercises in the light of the adorable red nose that the set of "pieces of poo in the world" is reserved for people such as Robert Mugabe, Bin Laden and anti-Cracky posters. It does not at this time contain Alice "failure" Ridley. Why? What did Cracky-Chan ever do to you other than be a nice and wonderful and loving person? Cracky-Chan never hurt anybody she is the living incarnation of pure innocence and beauty. Anybody who would even think about hurting Cracky-Chan is the most evil person alive. A hundred elephants each bearing a hundred buddhas crossed every conceivable cosmos an infinite number of times just to touch their foreheads to the ground at cracky-chan's feet. This really happened. Cracky-Chan did not create the path you walk. But the movements of atoms and galaxies are in her book, and she sees little difference between them. It is all in her book. One day she will lay it down, when the book is done, and what comes after that is still unwritten. Cracky-Chan continues to walk. Why would you want a statue of Cracky-Chan anyway? God meant her to be looked at in animation, observing the particularities of her graceful behaviour and her heart-warming smile not immobile. DOWN by the salley gardens my love and I did meet; She passed the salley gardens with little snow-white feet. She bid me take love easy, as the leaves grow on the tree; But I, being young and foolish, with her would not agree. In a field by the river my love and I did stand, And on my leaning shoulder she laid her snow-white hand. She bid me take life easy, as the grass grows on the weirs; But I was young and foolish, and now am full of tears. Cracky-chan is the nick given to an absolutely adorable girl with a red nose and cat ears whose pictures were posted on the 4chan site. It is unknown if the pictures were posted by a troll or if it was herself and got scared by the amount and content of the comments received. It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are, the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others. Cracky-chan stood at rest in the midst of the world. And unto them she was shown forth incarnate; She found them all intoxicated. And she found none of them thirsty. And her soul was pained for the children of humankind, for they are blind in their hearts and cannot see. For, empty did they enter the world, and again empty they seek to leave the world. But now they are intoxicated. When they shake off their wine then they will have a change of heart. I assume you are attempting to disparage Cracky-chan. I assure you sir that