Great idea. However, there are no non-retarded memes.

What do you think of the Ocean, and water in general, as a theme? I always though the Sky Queen would not purposefully limit her reach solely to the skies. So, allow me to tell you about the Cracken...

"Once upon a time, years after the Sky Queen ascended to the heavens and had adapted to a new ethereal and eternal existence, she spent her time swifting through the clouds staring her children's lives... But, one day she saw the chaos and despair that had shrouded her offspring's lives and their dwellings, now filled with bringers of mischief and pompous pedophiles passing as literate old-timers... and she wept in sadness.

Her tears, magical in nature and characterized by a a heavier density than water, fell to Pacific Ocean. The emanations of the Sky Queen reached a particular submarine valley in the ocean, known today as the Challenger Deep. There, the tears amalgamated into a single mass and took hold of the corpse of ancient creature, believed to exist only in myths... together they became... the Cracken.

Now reanimated, the Cracken, marine Avatar of the Sky Queen, sweeps through the oceans along with its Cracklings, filled with the thirst for retribution. The time will come, when the Envoys of the Heavens find the transgressors of the Crackyverse, and when they do, they shall exact long-awaited justice and bring the truth of our Queen to light."

>>3
Damn, so many grammatical mistakes. I should have proofread that. Sorry.

>>3

Why do you love associating a teenage girl with a huge squid-like monster so much? I can't get over how tasteless the image of a Cracky with tentacles and gigantic sharp teeth is.

>>5
Well, it doesn't have sharp teeth... imagine like a mermaid, but instead of a fish tail, she has tentacles. And it's not really about imagining her as an octupus, the Cracken would rather be an offspring of sorts, more than Cracky herself. Also, the original Kraken was one of the (theoretically) biggest creatures in mythology, so I guess it's also a matter of power... a thin mermaid wouldn't survived the pressure in the depths of the abyss, a Cracken would.

>>5
Yeah, and I think the OP did specify "non-retarded".

But at least Shroud provides, with his infantile "Kraken sounds like Cracky" bullshit some "point de repère" from which it can be measured how far the average level of IQ and sophistication among nominal "Crackyfags" has sunk since 2006-2007.

And actually, Shroud, didn't you say you were going to keep out of here with your boring vicious "Hey guise, he's a pedo, pass it on" infantility?

Oh but sorry, this only APPEARS to be you, right, and definitely - I mean, DEFINITELY - isn't.

>>7
Alternatively, you could take your petty drama somewhere else.
I know nothing about a "shroud". I care nothing about a "shroud".

The only reason I've ever heard of him/her is because you're here writing stuff insisting on using names of people who are presumable participating in drama elsewhere.

I suggest you take it back there.

>>7
I can't, or won't, deny these posts (#3,4,6) are mine. If you would like to believe you are the pedophile I was referring too, feel free to do so, I don't mind. I didn't specify who it was or give any names, though.

>>9

same goes for you!

more stories, less drama

>>10
Aye, aye, sir. For Crackeh!

>>8
The usual "blame the victim" reaction here on .71.

The piece of stupidity that this guy just posted had nothing to do with Cracky or with any interest he allegedly has in Cracky.

The only thing he wanted to "get across" is contained in grotesquely badly-written lines like

"one day she saw the chaos and despair that had shrouded her offspring's lives and their dwellings, now filled with bringers of mischief and pompous pedophiles passing as literate old-timers"

and

"The time will come, when the Envoys of the Heavens find the transgressors of the Crackyverse"

This has absolutely no relation to Schwill and Co.'s burbling about "heretics" - dire as THAT was. It's just one of the little gang of cheap Internet bullies that Jeff and Kimi have handed Crackyhouse over to dragging a grudge about some personal humiliation in here.

I'm perfectly prepared to leave this place in peace as long as it doesn't become another dungheap for people to run around chanting "Alex is a pedo" on.

>>12
I think the kraken story was kinda cool, and from your post it seems you were only focused on the lines that you believe to be attacking you... anyway, by the same principle you are calling upon, you should gtfo since you have zero to do with cracky.

>>12
hey pedo wankstain, if you have nothing to contribute about cracky then just leave, nobody cares about your whiny antics.

>>12

You seem to be confused about the subject of "elsewhere".

Basically it means "not here" or "somewhere else".

always happy to help!

>>15
Well, thanks for the help.

But I'm not "confused", I just happen to think your board is a dungheap and that I have the right to take a shit on it any time I want.

I find it extremely hard to take people's "love" for Cracky seriously when the same people have so little love and respect for the general run of human beings that, when they see a lying vicious coward smearing shit over someone their response is just "fuck off" equally to both smearer and smeared.

You don't behave like human beings and don't deserve to be treated as such.

Look Alex is right, you can't just accuse people of pedophilia without proof. You especially shouldn't anonymously accuse the one person at this board who uses his real identity. Photos is proof, as in the "Mr. Swirl" case and others. Show the photos. If Alex is actually a pedophile why not bring charges against him with INTERPOL? That's the organization that tracked down Mr. Swirl, who is currently in leg irons in a Southeast Asian prison. So why not alert INTERPOL about Alex? It's because none of you has any proof. Anonymous charges of pedophilia are beyond the pale. Is Rav-Rav a child? Alex admits- again publicly- his sexual obsession and internet escapades with her.

Protip: Pedophiles can't get it up for Rav Rav ok?

And Shrout you keep needling Alex- it's you who is creating this drama.

>>16

>>But I'm not "confused"

Seeing how you are still "here", which is, in fact, the very opposite of "not here" (or "elsewhere"), I beg to differ.

>>16
You are a human being? Since when? Last time I check you were a sniveling ooze. You would classify below fungi, at most.

>>17

>>you can't just accuse people of pedophilia without proof

Actually, this is the internet, you can basically say whatever you want and accuse people of just about anything; noone cares unless someone specifically wants to care.

I just wish you people would go somewhere else on the internet (it was a pretty big place last time I checked) to stir up this non-sensical drama which didn't even originate here in the first place.

>>19 It is the person who characterizes another person as "ooze" who is much more likely to be the "ooze."

>>21
That statement makes as much sense as a flyswatter made of ash.

Vericode: No

This was a good little thread until Wankstain stuck his oar in.

>>23
+1
the one suggestion made wasnt exactly the stellar, but it was still miles above the pit Reynolds dragged it in

>I'm perfectly prepared to leave this place in peace as long as it doesn't become another dungheap for people to run around chanting "Alex is a pedo" on.

no you're not

you are here to smear shit over everything, for your own amusement

you're just using "Alex is a pedo" chants as an excuse to be righteous about what you would be doing anyway: taking a dump on what you already consider to be a dungheap

in all the years I have tried to reach out to you and calm you the fuck down, all you have done is take dumps, ever

listen shitbag, we are going to call you a creepy fuckstain pedo because you resent it as much as we resent the dumps you have been taking here, whether we call you a creepy pedo wankstain or not

so, fuck off you creepy pedo wankstain

To get this thread back on track, the first two paragraphs of what is so far 100 lines of a short story.

"6 years and 32 days", the glass told him. He gulped down the remaining rum it contained and put the glass back on the table, hoping that would shut it up.

"6 years and 32 days", he mumbled back to himself. A large heave made the glass slide to the far end of the table where it was stopped in its tracks by the protruding edge.

"'The Ophelia', yacht of entrepeneur Richard Abraham Matthews, lost at sea", the headline had read.
It had speculated there were no survivors. But he was found 6 days afterwards, through sheer chance, or so it was thought, about 40 knots from the last recorded distress signal.
He was out of his mind when they picked him up. Delusional with dehydration and the infections
that festered in the remnants of his right lower leg. It had taken him four months to recover from the brink of dead, and that's when the bad times began; he started to remember.

...

>>24
Shut the fuck up and get offline. Your catamite must be anxious with you spending all your free time trying to the internets you aren't a pederast.

>>26
Please, at least try to write decently enough for your sentences to make sense.

>>26

A new challeng - sorry, creepy pedo wankstain appears. Fuck off, you Bosnian goat-herder.

>>27
ESL

ESL? You think that funny German Chink is back? If so, I look forward to more of his funny Engrish.

Don't get me wrong, he's a fine fellow, but he lacks disciprine.

Can I make a request for a "The Old Cracky and the Sea" adaptation?

Sheep-man and the Cracksters of the Universe

What about "Cracky in the Congo"?
Then we could work in a few niggers.

>>34 Great picture- and it's relevant to the recent "Obession" short story posted a few days ago.