She is so beautiful it hurts, you know what I mean? That aching emptiness right in your chest where your heart should be. Knowing that no matter how much I want to reach out and pull her close, how much I want to wrap my arms around her and tell her everything will be okay, I never will. That in all likelihood that if she recognized me in real life she would turn and run from me. That hurts me, deeply. Nothing I do or say will ever change the fact that the love I feel for her will never be reciprocated. I will never get to know her. I will never find out what makes her happy. I will never make her smile. I will never celebrate her birthday with her. I will never be there when she needs someone to simply tell her things will be okay. I will never she the pride and joy on her face when she has her first child. I will never get the chance to see her slowly age. I will never be the person that is there for her in the last moments of her life, holding her hand and just being there to comfort her. I will never do anything worthwhile in my life.

I can't stop crying, I want to die.