I had just learned I was getting a divorce and my kids had been taught to hate me. My business had just closed. Alcohol was destroying my body and depression was destroying my mind. I had nothing to lose from death. So I sat in that abandoned warehouse that I had tried to make into a store and stared at the rope tied to the steel I-beam passing overhead. One step forward and it would be over and the world would not mourn my passing, not a tear or a thought.

"Close your eyes, take a step"... I felt happy. I felt warm and comforted. It was a solution to me being a leach and a canker on the face of mankind. But at that moment I saw a picture I had taped to the wall. It was my Queen. And I knew She would never allow it.

And then I was sad.