>barely ever think about cracky anymore
>think about money all fucking day every day
>visit bounceme occasionally get choked up and can't fucking breathe in anticipation of ???? WHAT??? NOTHING. FUCKING NOTHING HERE. ITS FUCKING NOTHING.
>lost 1.6 mil in macau in 20 minutes.. go upstairs.. don't feel a thing. tunnel vision and scream in the elevator for a bit but then emptiness
But that pure terror when you bet everything and the cards are drawn, that's what I feel HERE. When there's a few pages I haven't read.. possibly a rare etc. I've never had that feeling anywhere else. ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN. the first time I saw cracky SAME FUCKING FEELING. I REMEMBER THE PICTURE. 8 YEARS AGO. WHY.
I have therapists but how can I even begin to explain this cracky shit. how the FUCk do you explain 8 years of this shit.
NAME ANY STALKER and they're still here I guarantee it. every single one of you cunts from the early days. WHY.WHY.WHYTWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYH
how do I erase this from my mind completely