[Burichan] [Futaba] [Futaba Ols] [Gurochan] [Photon] - [Home]
[Return]
Reply mode
Link
Subject
Comment
File
Verification
Password (for post and file deletion)
Leave empty (spam trap):
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 1000 KB.
  • Images greater than 200x200 pixels will be thumbnailed.
File: 1434103834659.jpg -(74371 B, 300x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
74371 No.1   [Reply]

it's nearly five in the morning, i'm sitting here alone in the dark, staring at pictures of a girl that doesn't know i exist, and that i have never had any contact with in my entire life.

whats worse is that i can say with all the right mindset that i am in love with this girl, that i've felt her experiences, that i've somehow felt her pain.

i know deep inside this girl is only special because she is somewhat of a manifestation of another girl, a girl that lives just ten minutes away from me, or maybe that girl is only special because of how much she reminds me of this one, i don't even know anymore.

i have felt an emptiness that i thought was a joke before because of both of them, im currently starting to feel it all over again now, just thinking of either of their names puts a slight pressure on my chest, yet the softest blows are the ones that cut the deepest.

this picture is my favorite, yet its the worst. the resemblance is undeniable, i've seen the counterpart to it, even the nails are the same color, i can only hope that the arms don't match up. how can you be smiling while showing the wounds of an emotional wreck? that smile, she's always smiling, such a happy, cheerful face.

i've tried to deny these feelings, but i can't. i feel subhuman, like i'm about to cry, but i can't even lift my head up to do so.

I wouldn't change any of it.

>> No.2  
File: 1434179891579.png -(38098 B, 833x768) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
38098
>> No.3  

.

>> No.4  

I remember writing this. My feelings haven't changed. How can you forget something that completes you? I'm still here, aren't I, for better or worse I always will be, what that means for me in the future I have no idea.

These words, my words, make me smile. Looking back on how low I once was only makes me glad that I am now past it. I still feel empty, but I've learned to try to look past it. To accept that life is nothing, with or without her, was difficult, but my Eyes are now open, and are peering into the horizon.

To whoever is bumping threads from last summer, thank you. That time was dark for me, but I began coming here in the first place during dark times, and face it, I will always live unhappy. But being so sad and hopeless has now become the norm for me, so in a way not pushing through has made me better.

This post is meant for me more than any of you, for my Eyes to look back on and reminisce on in the future, however late and however hollow I am by then. I'll probably be lost in the wave of bumps anyway. I love you, even if you don't know it, even if I'll never tell you, even if it kills me inside in the process.


Delete Post []
Password

- kareha 3.1.3 + futaba mode -