For 300 years I trained with the chieftan in his private dojo, reporting shitty threads, every day becoming quicker. At first I could report 10 threads per minute. After only 2 weeks I was up to 5 threads per second. After a century my KTPM (kuso thread per minute) rate rose to and stalled at 200 per second.

On the last day he graced our planet, my sensei bestowed one last task to me: the reporting of this thread, the shittest of all shit threads.

I did not respond with words. Rather, through our eyes he knew I would obey.

This one's for you, Otousan.