Things have played out differently than I thought they would -- differently than I had hoped. But now that it's all over, I still feel the need to post this, perhaps in the hopes that it can express what I wanted to say more eloquently than I did when the time came. This was written just last night, and I have changed nothing, save for the contact information.
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Dear scm,
Are you out there? I don't know what to believe, but I shall hope that you are, and if there is any hope that you may read these words, I have to write them.
I am sorry. I am sorry for everything that I can be sorry for. For what we have done to you, and for what you have seen here. For what we have become, and what we have tried to make you into. I am sorry.
Please believe that I know what you are. You are not a goddess, or a saint, or my love. I do not pretend to know you, or to make you into what I want you to be. You are a girl, beautiful and mysterious, but still a girl. And you are an artist, gifted and intelligent, but in the end, only an artist.
I know this because I too am an artist. That is not to say I am trying to draw some connection between us or to convince you that I am just like you, because I am certain that I am not. I only want you to know what I am and how I think of myself.
I am writing this with no ulterior motive -- no intention to strike the moment you let your guard down. I would be lying if I said that I do not want to see more of your art, especially what I have missed in the long while you have been gone, but that is not why I am writing. It is not my intent to convince you to surrender more pictures of yourself, only to speak with you. To talk to you as an artist -- about your art. To know if you are still an artist, after all that we have put you through. To say the words I have said here to you directly -- in the hopes that perhaps somewhere in your heart you could find a way to forgive me for what I have done.
If you wish to speak to me, you will be able to find me as [doesn't matter anymore]. However, if I hear nothing from you, I will hope that you have at least read this and understand why I have written it. That would be enough.
Sincerely,
a fan
None of you are ever satisfied, are you? You actually got to talk to her, and now this board the most emo thing since emo came to emotown.
Imagine that! She's her own person with her own opinions. She doesn't fit the image of person that you wanted her to be. Boo fucking hoo.
anyway, tl;dr.
I will continue to lurk this board as I always have... for the kicks.
(protip: if you want people to read your thread, use a picture of a sexy girl)