So I just saw a documentary where the BBC were allowed unrestricted access to the Scotland Yard Paedophile Unit for two years. The four hour documentary is full of lulz, but most of all are the uncanny psychological and situational parallels between the paedophiles and you. Yes, you.
I won't even bother explaining, for, were you capable of understanding, you would not be where you are. But here's a sweet detail: It all started thirty years ago with a child-star appreciation society, and ended with tens of children buggered, many lives ruined, and a suicide.
Imagine what it would be like to have Cracky-chan as your girlfriend.
I'd love to kiss her, even if it's just once. I'd pay any amount.
Meeting her after college would be the best part: Seeing her eyes light up and a smile form on her face as you come together in a fierce embrace.