Dearest Cracky-chan,
It's been a while since we last spoke, and I realize that there's quite a bit of catching up to do. I heard you're lurking .71 now. That's fantastic! It's actually a great place to meet people. Speaking of meeting people, I always thought you should "trade up" for somebody better. You should ditch the turk. Maybe try another slav? Though this time go with someone a little more Northern.
Despite your own penchant for trying to convince the Stalkers you don't like their creepy attention while at the same time shamelessly publicizing yourself, in a way you still owe me after last time. People were in danger of completely forgetting about you. In no small part due to my amazing work as your unofficial publicist, I managed to get the obsessionball rolling all over again. All the way back to Oxford, in fact. All the way to your mother's tiny, funky, very English side-by-side house. When your suicidegirls career takes off, you'll have ME to thank for the fact that all the insignificant internet plebs with more dollars than braincells are able to recognize you.
See? I'm still trying to be a helpful guy, even after you turned your back on me.
I think we have a bit of an understanding here, Lia. If this is going to follow the same give-take patterns of all your past relationships, you'll be happy to know that I'm more than willing to provide regardless of the circumstances. I know that it's only a matter of time until everybody finds out that jews did wtc, and when that happens all of your family's heathengold will run out. I'm talking real gold here, hun. The kind that lets you eat and stink and sit on the computer all day without a care in the world. Not that shit you farm in WoW.
We can come to a sort of agreement. Since you're soon to be homeless, and the loli I'm cohabitating with is too inexperienced to understand how to cook (OR GIVE A DECENT BLOWJOB. SERIOUSLY WTF), it would likely be beneficial for you to "shack up" with the two of us. Your living conditions would be very much the same - you'd be living in a room the size of your flat with your bed and computer, and you'd have all the time in the world to live in your masturbatory MMO fantasyland. There'd only be two real differences. First, you'd be expected to cook. This'll maybe take up, like what? An hour a day maximum. It'll be your only real obligation to the household.
Secondly, the person coming to molest you periodically won't be your father.
I think that should be more than enough to convince you. Hit me back and lemme know what you think.
Until then,
wB