I recently discovered, lurking in the dead sea scrolls, a reference to the WoW realm that Cracky might play on. Girding my trollish loins, I prepared to delve back into the nightmare known as World of Warcraft. My quest was to do something dubious to someone, vaguely. In truth, I knew not my goals but that has never stopped me before.Keenly aware of my total lack of understanding, I surmised my quest would be disorienting and fraught with retards. Retards... my sworn mortal enemy. To defend myself from them, I decided, I must launch a preemptive strike. As is well known to all wowfags, /2 is the halfway-house of WoW. It teems with idiots, trolls, sexual predators and the occassional, misguided merchant. Only in Trade - City, do welfare epicced 70s trash talk bank alts of successful players, do foreigners fail to sell Silverleaf and do the totally clueless beg for ports, summons and enchants they can't afford. Clearly, if I could lay this haven of indignity across my proverbial knee and deliver, like one would a wailing babe, a fatal spanking, I would remove most of the diseased idiocy that would threaten me on my journey.There was, of course, a proverbial mackerel in the gears - the GMs. In hindsight, it was obvious they would be in league with the stunted gotards who flailed so grandly in the trade channel. But at the time that I, filled with asinine vim and vigor, stormed the intangible bastions of this destitute RP server, I was heedless of their lurking menace. The GMs, skulking in their dank corners, pounced upon my frail, noobly night elf within hours of my arrival. After a mere few days of heated trolling the mods had delivered unto me a suspension. In 2 days I received 3 warnings for violating Blizz's totalitarian Terms of Service. The brittle china of my hopes and dreams was shattered in their hirsute, Neanderthal hands.So I present here, for your amusement, the complaints:>>"Account Action: Warning
>>Offenses: Harassment Policy Violation - Inappropriate
>>This category includes both clear and masked language which:
>> * Is a mildly inappropriate reference to human anatomy or bodily functions
>> * Is otherwise considered objectionable
>>Offenses: Harassment Policy Violation - Obscene/Vulgar
>>This category includes both clear and masked language which:
>> * Is crude and offensive in nature
>> * Is an inappropriate reference to human anatomy or bodily functions
>> * Is pornographic in nature>>Details (Note - Times are listed in Greenwich Mean Time, GMT):>>2007/11/18 04:17:20 (GMT) - [Redacted] says in Trade - City "Who else is in Fucking Hilarious?"
>>2007/11/19 04:15:47 (GMT) - [Redacted] says in Trade - City "What about [Enchant Penis - Subtlety] or [Enchant Penis - Haste]?"
>>2007/11/19 04:15:55 (GMT) - [Redacted] says in Trade - City "Ooh...[Enchant Penis - Executioner]! 850 armor penetration has gotta be enough to ignore girls pants."
This provoked the following, which resulted in a suspension.
>>2007/11/19 6:20:01 (GMT) - [Redacted] says in Trade - City "Attention [Redacted]: You are all pederast pedants. I hope your ears bleed cum and your rancid genitals turn to cottage cheese. You fucking cripples."
>>2007/11/19 6:20:31 (GMT) - [Redacted] says in Trade - City "[Redacted], [Redacted] and [Redacted] are the shittiest collection of baby-rapists and gear-mooching whores to ever call themselves raiding guilds. They should be dragged from their houses and nailed to the fucking wall."
>>2007/11/19 6:21:21 (GMT) - [Redacted] says in Trade - City "Heed my words GMs: Gay. Nigger. Tits. Suck my pestilent dick you PvE faggot motherfuckers. If you rolled PvP and let your testes drop maybe your daddy would rape you less."Anyhow, the formatting of this is probably gonna be all horrible and gross. I would like to point out that the only other warning I've received in the four years I've been playing was for 'messing with the economy'. And I have sworn like a sailor in WoW since day one. So what did they warn me for? I said 'penis' and 'fuck'. The last statement would clearly provoke a suspension. That was ok with me, now I'm free to cull my herb garden and baek a delicious caek.I apologize for all the spelling errors and cruddy grammar in this post. But I have been at this cursed computer for 18 hours and spamming WoW for about 15 of those. My fingers are dead, my brain is dead, my legs are afflicted with DVT.In closing: Doom upon my shoulders and a plague of boiling blood on all of you.(Pic related: my troll/bank/lulz generator.)P.S. Night elves are gay, squishies are gay, BC is gay, Naxx is gay, dailies are gay, rep farming is gay. The only good thing about WoW is /2 and fishing. That is all.
PENISBOATLOL (8:51:43 PM): I have been listening to less contemporary and popular music lately.
PENISBOATLOL (8:52:24 PM): I've started to develop a taste for classical. Too bad being the pigfucking ignorant American I am I have no taste.
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (8:52:43 PM): You can't help it.
PENISBOATLOL (8:52:54 PM): I should, rich European parents.
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (8:53:57 PM): Well then there's some kind of evil magic afoot.
PENISBOATLOL (8:54:07 PM): I blame the terrorists.
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (8:54:37 PM): Al-Qaeda and the great culture heist.
PENISBOATLOL (8:54:59 PM): God forbide I take resposibility for my own education, or lack there of.
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (8:56:35 PM): Nobody should ever do that.
PENISBOATLOL (8:56:35 PM): It's unamerican
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (8:59:09 PM): Of course, you don't need to be cultured. Simply fake a classy accent and you're halfway there.
PENISBOATLOL (8:59:18 PM): Is that why britfags get so much play?
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (9:00:02 PM): No. Only 6 of us have classy accents, fake or real.
PENISBOATLOL (9:00:32 PM): I have seen some ugly stupid britfags get a ridiculous amount of ass.
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (9:00:57 PM): Maybe we're just superior people.
PENISBOATLOL (9:01:00 PM): You did produce Cracky
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (9:01:24 PM): Ah, well, there's always an exception...
PENISBOATLOL (9:01:22 PM): ouch
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (9:02:16 PM): It doesn't take superiority to produce a teenage girl who takes photos of herself.
PENISBOATLOL (9:02:28 PM): but one made of such consentrated cute and sweet?
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (9:03:10 PM): Find any place where teenage girls gather. Crackies everywhere. Everywhere.
PENISBOATLOL (9:03:09 PM): inferior
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (9:03:53 PM): Paralell.
PENISBOATLOL (9:03:50 PM): lies
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (9:04:37 PM): Epic truth.
PENISBOATLOL (9:04:37 PM): heresy
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (9:04:57 PM): Good heresy.
PENISBOATLOL (9:05:19 PM): How can you just forget about her like that. All that time spent chasing and obsessing and you are just going to let it go?
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (9:05:40 PM): Going to? lawl.
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (9:05:56 PM): Absolutely. Best not waste any more time on that shit.
PENISBOATLOL (9:05:58 PM): Them what do you do with your tiem?
PENISBOATLOL (9:06:16 PM): lurking 4chan is a not a better choice.
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (9:06:47 PM): It's infinitely more entertaining and just as fulfilling as pixelhunting pictures obsessively.
PENISBOATLOL (9:06:56 PM): another brother falls
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (9:07:20 PM): More like crawls up out of the shitty ditch.
PENISBOATLOL (9:07:27 PM): but it's safe and comfortable down here in the filth.
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (9:07:49 PM): Bullshit.
PENISBOATLOL (9:07:46 PM): truth
Je sais manger le verre; cela ne me fait pas mal.
Jag kan �ta glas, det g�r inte ont.
Lahko jem steklo, pa me ne boli.
Ik kan glas eten. Het doet geen pijn.
Puedo comer vidrio, no me duele.
Ich kann Glas essen, das tut mir nicht weh.
Pystyn sy�m��n lasia. Se ei koske yht��n.
Ya mogu yest' steklo, eto mnye nye vredit.
Vitrum edere possum; mihi non nocet.
Ass varu eest styklu, tus mun nakaitee.
Watashiwa garasu o taberaremasu; watashi o kizutsukemasen.
Posso mangiare il vetro, non mi fa male.
T� m� in ann gloine a ithe; N� chuireann s� isteach n� amach orm.
Boro' na fa'o spasme'na gialia' chori's na pa'tho ti'pota.
Jeg kan spise glas - det g�r ikke ondt.
Ngo Hor Yi Sak Bor Laai, Kui Sern Ng Do Ngo Gar.
Abagee grnam oodel yev eendzy tche venass�r.
Az iam staklo i to ne mi vredi.
Posso comer vidro, n�o me fere.
Ech ka Glas iessen an et deet mer net wii.
J'peux bouffer d'la vitre, �a m'fa pas mal.
Mogu da jedem staklo. To me ne boli.
HIvje' mep vISoplaH. mu'oy'moHbe'.