it's nearly five in the morning, i'm sitting here alone in the dark, staring at pictures of a girl that doesn't know i exist, and that i have never had any contact with in my entire life.
whats worse is that i can say with all the right mindset that i am in love with this girl, that i've felt her experiences, that i've somehow felt her pain.
i know deep inside this girl is only special because she is somewhat of a manifestation of another girl, a girl that lives just ten minutes away from me, or maybe that girl is only special because of how much she reminds me of this one, i don't even know anymore.
i have felt an emptiness that i thought was a joke before because of both of them, im currently starting to feel it all over again now, just thinking of either of their names puts a slight pressure on my chest, yet the softest blows are the ones that cut the deepest.
this picture is my favorite, yet its the worst. the resemblance is undeniable, i've seen the counterpart to it, even the nails are the same color, i can only hope that the arms don't match up. how can you be smiling while showing the wounds of an emotional wreck? that smile, she's always smiling, such a happy, cheerful face.
i've tried to deny these feelings, but i can't. i feel subhuman, like i'm about to cry, but i can't even lift my head up to do so.
I wouldn't change any of it.