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>> No.4  

Copypasta because it seemed appropiate.

Wine is made of 3 basic ingredients (1 fewer than beer):

  • Water
  • Sugar
  • and Yeast

So this makes it cheaper than beer, also, we can just use normal sugar, fuck that malt sugar stuff, we're trying to get DRUNK. So here's the hobo plan to getting all fired up on prison wine on the cheap. Simply follow these steps and you'll end up drunk and naked in someone else's living room before you know it! (not that I speak from experience, it was just a dream, that's my story, fuck you all...). LETS BEGIN:

Getting started: gather the following:

  • 5 gallon water jug (if you're a techie, just steal this from work, no-one will notice the missing jug, especially not the guy who comes in and replaces the empties with fulls). PROTIP: these are easier to steal when they're empty (end of the day) or you're drunk (every day). PROTIP 2: Try not to steal more than 1 between refills, if the guy comes in to replace the empties with fulls and finds 0 empties, someone might get suspicious...
  • 10 cans of something sugary from your grocer's frozen aisle (but let it come to room temperature before using it), usually this is going to be grape juice, if you want to keep this hobo-hooch a little close to wine, otherwise, just pick something with sugar in it that is expected to be drunk after having been mixed with water. IDEA: Perhaps the stuff that suggests you mix it with vodka will work well in this situation, as we'll be making our own alcohol, but I don't know, never tried that, too rich for my hobo blood.
  • MOAR SUGAR: nah, just 2-3 5lb bags of sugar. Use 2 if you want dry wine, 3 if you want sweet (remember, we're making 5 gallons here)
  • WATER - should be free, you're not really a hobo, you're just drinking like one...
  • BLEACH - DON'T DRINK IT
  • FUNNEL - clean it first, who knows what is growing in there...
  • RUBBER BAND - although, if, by some miracle or mistake of nature you have a girlfriend, you've got a rubberband, christ, you've probably got half a fucking million of them, she calls them "hair ties", remove one of the ones you've got wrapped around your ballsack for this project, you can put it back later.

Balloon, a condom could do in a pinch, I suppose, but if you use a condom, make sure it's one of the ones without spermicide on it... you don't want that in your high-class hooch!

  • Active Dry Yeast - not going to offer the best flavor, but it's cheap as fuck, and you're a hobo, so this is an EPIC WIN


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