Of course! I finished third grade.

>>1 a British person (who shall remain nameless)

Hmm, an unspecified uneducated British person, you say? So how's Lia doing these days?

Wtf is 3rd Grade? How old is that in human years?

While we're on the subject of grammar, I was rote taught the subject at borstal, and we were told the following about sarcasm and irony:

Sarcasm: The batsman makes a poor show and hands the ball to the slip, you turn to the batsman and say "Oh, that was a good shot!"

Irony: The batsman makes a poor show and hands the ball to the slip, you turn to your friend in the crowd and say "Oh, that was a good shot!"

(Not to be confused with dramtic irony, in which the audience is more aware of what is going on than one of the characters in a particular scene.)

So... that pretty much makes irony second-hand sarcasm, as a strict, grammatical definition?

Daily IM Poll Girl is so cute today. I would certainly ply her with narcotics and alcohol to lower her inhibitions if I were her teacher.

At GCSE O level (the final phase of compulsory education) there's little formal grammar education. Or at least there wasn't when I did it. The average 16 year old UKian should know what a noun and verb are, but adjective is slightly shakier territory, and adverb ... probably not. Shitsux, and is probably part of the reason why we also tend to fail at foreign languages.

Science is perhaps the most fucked up. Chem/bio/physics aren't considered important enough to be full subjects so they're grouped into a "double award" worth only 2 GCSEs. Health + safety paranoia has gutted chemistry of any remotely interesting experiments, and physics is 50% BAWWWing about environmental issues. Of course we're now paying the price - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4780017.stm

>>5
Teh histories: Double Science exists soley because schools decided not to pay for full-time graduates in all three core science subjects, that is to say, the very institutions supposedly geared towards promoting opportunities through education actively dismantled those self-same opportunities in science to save money.

That link is bullshit. There are fuck all science jobs in the UK outside of medicine, and even then there has been surplus deliberately created to drive down intermediate wages.

Getting a science degree? Get a work visa overseas NOW. Don't keep reading this, go and apply NOW, and sign up for language courses asap. And get a fucking haircut. Deodorant wouldn't go amiss either.

>>4 Wtf is 3rd Grade? How old is that in human years?

How about I answer that in terms that everyone here would understand? Pic related.

>>7
mmmI see :)

>>6
Yes, but those failed pharma graduates could be gainfully employed making 2C-B and so forth for me to consume.

I dunno, I just think it's important that the public has a real appreciation of science given how important it is to our lives, whether or not it's directly applicable in the job market. The tabloid "ivory tower boffins do pointless research X" take on it makes me rage.

>>9
Good points, well made. Science graduates, get your reflux on!

>>6 Double Science

Is that like the "Double Potions" class in Harry Potter?

In fact, could someone please explain the entire British educational system in terms of Harry Potter? Like, I've sort of figured out that the "O-levels" are like the O.W.L.s and the "A-levels" are like the N.E.W.T.s, is that right? How does the rest of it work out? How are the students sorted into houses at real schools? Are the houses equivalent? Like, was Suede in a Hufflepuff-equivalent and Cracky in a Slytherin-equivalent, or are the houses IRL completely different?

Umm... WHO GIVES A FUCK?

Tell your parents to stop being cheap and fund private education, problem solved.

>>11

>How are the students sorted into houses at real schools? Are the houses equivalent?

Usually random allocation, although siblings tend to be automatically enrolled into the same house.

The house system creates arbitrary, internal competition in preparation for competing with other schools. There is often a house point system, where pupils are awarded merit points for their house based on superior academic achievement or behaviour, and then there are the inter-house competitions, sports, public speaking, that sort of thing.

The system is rife with corruption and error, with teachers favouring pupils from their own houses simply because teaching for 35 years gets a little bit tedious, and so then things like "winning the house merit cup" become exciting.

Now, although the houses are randomly allocated, talent and achievement are not, so certain houses end up over-achieving in certain areas, giving a knock-on effect as to what gets focused on next year. This means that houses develop a temporary character of their own, the clever house, the sporting house, the theatrical house, the crap house, and this identity is reinforced year on year, until something dramatic occurs in the crap house like in an 1980's movie, and they doggedly win the big game to the amazement of the smug opposition, or whatever.

>>14

> siblings tend to be automatically enrolled into the same house.
> creates arbitrary, internal competition
> There is often a house point system
> inter-house competitions, sports
> rife with corruption and error
> teachers favouring pupils from their own houses
> things like "winning the house merit cup" become exciting.
> certain houses end up over-achieving in certain areas

So basically it's almost exactly like Harry Potter?

Is there something like Quidditch?

>>15
Quidditch is as arcane as cricket, as violent as rugby, and as unisex as rounders, I guess.

It would make more sense, but Ursula K LeGuinn never specificed the sports played at the wizard school in Wizard of Earthsea, so JK couldn't plagiraise that particular aspect of the novel.

>>16
That girl does not look under 18! What is going on here??

>>17
The magic of make-up, she's no milf.

>>18
I think "MILF" is a misnomer, because, think about it, would you really like to?

>>19
Hmm... good point... MILDTFHTD: mother I'd like to drug and then fuck her tweenaged daughter.

>>21
I prefer the classical approach. Marry her mother, have her conveniently die in a car accident, and then fuck her tweenaged daughter in seedy motels for the next two years.

>>22
Yeah, but then there's that whole girl- deserts- you- for- theatrical- guy- followed- by- obsessive- hunt- for- him- and- traumatic- murder- more- hunting- this- time- the- girl- doh- she's- gone- and- had- kids- with- some- hick- and- is- too- old- now- anyway- part that can get weary the third or fourth time.

>>23
Ah, but all of that only cements your love for her.

I guess I am more of a romantic, while you are a creature bound to his base sexual desires.