>>35
>And I can't accept "middle ground", I have to do everything all or nothing, either obsessively to perfection or not even bother trying.
That, Anonymous, expresses your frustrations perfectly.
If I could click my fingers and change one thing about you, right now, I'd choose to change that drive to experience everything at once about an activity.
Now, this is the part where I type crass, obvious things, and you try not to get too pissed off at me, 'kay?
In my totally ignorance of your personal battle with this frustration, I would donate you a watch that gives you an electric shock every two hours. And the shock wouldn't let up until you changed the activity you were doing, especially if it was nothing at all.
In my woefully uninformed opinion, based on a handful of posts in this thread, I am going to suggest that you divide your day into the following sections:
Sleep
exercise
work
exercise
activity 1
activity 2
I appreciate that it seems like I am ignoring you, but what I am doing is something you could benefit yourself in doing, that is treating yourself as two people: the person who does things, and the person who does things perfectly.
The person who does things is now the boss. However much effort it takes, whatever internal dialogues you have to muster and negotiate, the person who does things has to take control of your time.
The good news is, this leaves the person who does things perfectly to do so freely when they are let out of the box. It's getting them to go into the box in the first place that is going to be tricky.
However... look at it this way: the person who does things perfectly is not doing things perfectly at the moment, are they? They are failing in their function.
TL;DR? You are now two people, helping each other achieve their function. One cannot exist without the other, and if they work together, they can both achieve everything that you, personally desire.
You can perfectly experience your activities, but you cannot do so without the person who does things taking charge and telling the person who does things perfectly that it is time to change activities. Perfection is not limited to today. You can experience an activity perfectly in two hour slices spread over a lifetime.
I apologise if this seems trite, or appears as if I have not been listening. In reality, I am addressing the person who does things, and ignoring the cries of the person who does things perfectly. The imbalance between the two appears to be at the heart of your frustration to this internet stranger.