So I was thinking again.
Actually like thinking this time and not taking a bubble bath.
People in like western countries and stuff are related to each other by like their last names. That’s called a “patronym” or literally “Patrick the Gnome.” I think he invented last names or something? Because like he was sick and tired of getting all the mail that belonged to other gnomes named Patrick.
So he became Patrick the Gnome Johnson and lived happily ever after inside a shoe.
Any way in some eastern countries they do it the other way around and put the family name first I guess to show that in some eastern countries “the family comes first.”
So anyway the other day I was thinking about gnomes and names and like all that related stuff and I thought what if they’re onto something in those countries? Like maybe a lawn chair and an easy chair and an electric chair aren’t really related just because they’re all chairs. What if it’s more like the lawn chair is related to lawn gnomes, lawn darts, and lawn mowers? What if the easy chair belongs with easy women and Easy Bake Ovens? What if the electric chair is like second cousin to the Electric Company, the electric slide, and the electric boogaloo?
You know, this would mean soft drinks go with soft porn and soft serve, chick peas with Chick tracts, and REM’s Automatic For The People album could be close enough to an automatic weapon to require some kind of waiting period.
You know on second thought maybe even if the eastern countries do have it right we’re all better off not knowing.
_ ___ _ __ ___ _ _ _____
| | / _ \| | \ \ / / | | | / \|_ _|
| | | | | | | \ \ /\ / /| |_| | / _ \ | |
| |__| |_| | |___ \ V V / | _ |/ ___ \| |
|_____\___/|_____| \_/\_/ |_| |_/_/ \_\_|
I'm voting for McCain because he seems to be a really likable guy. Sure, he's a bit senile, but who cares? My grandpa is senile, and he's still once of the nicest people you'd ever meet.
And Palin's your classic tough hockey mom, so she's got my vote. Some people might ask, is she qualified to run the country? I ask, why the hell do you care? Folks like me vote for people based on their personality. 'Qualifications,' now there's a word you'll hear those damn latte-sippin' left-wing elitists spewing all over their speeches. Proper small town folk like myself don't even know what that word means, and we're proud of it! Hell, I'm even ashamed of being able to pronounce it right."
Oh by the way...
Obama:
Occidental College (Los Angeles) - 2 years studying Politics and Public Policy.
Columbia University (New York) - B.A. Political Science with a specialization in International Relations.
Harvard Law School - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude, Editor-in-Chief of the Harvard Law Review.
Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in History and a B.A. in Political Science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)
McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank 894 of 899.
Palin:
seriously
OHSHI Johnny Bravo is on peace
word up!
What up homeslice?
Keeping real up in da hood.
Wat up wit chu bruhda?
Brudha? Why, youse a motherfuckin' peeeemp! Nigga, wassup?!
Word homeboy, letz bust dis ass
Can't remember the exact day
my feet stopped walking
and my hallowed wanting began
Don't know when exactly
my shallow, noiseless, breaths began
and the fear took over
It will pass me by- what I'm waiting for-
if I don't stop to see it. . . .
I won't hear it coming- what I'm waiting for-
if I don't listen to the abyss. . . .
Eventually my past became my anchor
(growing over my planted feet).
In 1981 I met an extraordinary individual: Laurie Matheson. He purchased the largest work I had made at that stage a life-size carving of Cinzia ["My Wife"] a sculpture from my first one man show, the exhibition was of work I had carved the year before in 1979 whilst in Carrara on an Italian Govt. Scholarship, wonderful! it took eight people to lug the marble sculpture to his residence, it was to go in his garden. After much cursing and one squashed finger we placed the piece. At this point, Laurie who had pitched in and sweating like the rest of us, introduced himself, declaring he liked my work very much, up until this point I had not realized this, thought that he was one of helpers around the place [It was an impressive place at that, to a young impoverished sculptor] Laurie was in high spirits and invited Cinzia and I in to celebrate with a glass of champagne. We toasted and talked, he asked me "well young man what are your plans"? I said what I really would like to do is go back to Carrara and carve a big chunk of marble. But had no idea how this was going to happen [niente moneta!]. Laurie got up and came back shortly after, put a fistful of money in my hand and said why don't you go back to Carrara and make me a BIG sculpture! Wow! how fantastic is this ...amazing! I exclaimed, I went of and worked up an idea as a maquette in clay. I arranged to see Laurie again. We arrived at his country house outside of Melbourne, a party of Russian business people where whooping it up fired up on the flammible stuff as they like to refer to Smirnoff.. Laurie said "Lets see the maquete put it on the table!. I unwrapped it and put the maquette in the centre of the table , everbody enthuised over the image, and I was dreaming about carving it in marble already. [ S...HE] When it came to formalising the business aspect of the commission Laurie pulled me aside as the Russians broke out in song. and said well "What will it cost"? I bit my tongue and told him the price at the time it seemed to me like a small fortune. Without further mention Laurie got up and disapeared returning shortly afterwards and to my amazement he paid the whole amount upfront. I asked Laurie don't you want me to sign a contract? He looked me in the eye and said "What will a contract do, I have made up my mind and I don't think that you would be so silly as to squander the opportunity that this represents for you". I pinched myself to make sure I was not dreaming. Cinzia and I left for Italy and had an incredible twelve months in Carrara Italy, during this time I carved my first major work in marble "S...HE" and as well many other sculptures which together was enough for my second one man show. Sadly some years later Laurie became ill and after what seemed a brief time passed away. I think of him with great affection and cherish having known him and thank him for the extraordinary difference he made to my life........ In 1987 I was asked by his Widow Christina to carve a figure called "Asleep" in Carrara marble as his gravestone
I have unmasked your copypasta!
http://www.users.bigpond.com/schip/asleep.htm
But damn, that is an attractive statue.
Dearly 4Chan Website Today:
To my English, forgive me am German makes happily speaks, because I, and to the English.
It is brings a matter to to your attention. I have a science-Proven magic petrification ray that is capable to change magic any young feminine person into a marble statue immediately with magic. I am has very excitied to this thing. I will tell you the story. I enjoy to turn of pretty young girls in statue. I turned ran five girls in statue with the device however I out of girl and need I more girl. Help me please to receive to more girl. It is very important service to the world girl in statue because to transform:
1. Girls who have been turned in statue can be used for decoration.
2. Rocky-girl transformed did not make overpopulate the world or use natural Betriebsmittel.
3. The girls hear stop aging and decaying if in statue.
4. Young feminine person lives eternally after statue.
5. Girl, when statue is nicer, than a girl as a meat -- only kidding! :)
6. Women, when statue can be naked in publicly naked, to how fleshy woman does not complain.
More:
KNOW YOU A WOMAN GIRL?
Do you have a girlfriend? I will pay you if gives you to me your girlfriend or girlfriends: twenty Deutschemarks. Your girlfriend or girlfriends petrification statues with machine will become. Your girlfriend will be happy with me and become your girlfriend the statues or your girlfriends the statue, and many other statues please, that girl lived with me.
Sell girlfriend to me. If you do not like your girlfriend, you give her because I will like her, if I change her in statue, to me if you like her, sell will not can move her to me anyway because I will make her happy through making it, a statue eternally so it on pedestal she can stand.
If you are masculine or feminine, either, gives your feminine friends. to me. I pay twenty Deutschemarks per a woman. They ready must not voluntarily come, or voluntarily. You her to me and I pay you, girl I takes and transforms into stone.