Fearing To Be Painless (1)

1 Name: Rabbit!8YYwOrw3fU : 2008-07-17 16:52 ID:2zY5KNZS [Del]

Can't remember the exact day
my feet stopped walking
and my hallowed wanting began

Don't know when exactly
my shallow, noiseless, breaths began
and the fear took over

It will pass me by- what I'm waiting for-
if I don't stop to see it. . . .
I won't hear it coming- what I'm waiting for-
if I don't listen to the abyss. . . .

Eventually my past became my anchor
(growing over my planted feet).
Can't even guess the day that started,
because I've just barely noticed I stopped.
How long have I lived in my virtual life?

I'm seeing life in confusion-
like that misty moment between dreaming and waking,
when everything feels groggy and humid-
making me shiver in pain.

It was right away the sadness took over.
That familiar numbness wasn't long after. .
. . living a life through Novocaine.

My pain became my chained companion.
So I starved my pain to keep it sharp.
Somehow my Novocaine could not kill it.

Fearing to be painless,
I kept my pain alive.
Learning to late the fear would spwan of pain.

And then. . . I found a new dimension.
Expose the vein-
filling with deeper pain-
stumbling over my sanity. . .
desperate not to fall. . .
and. . . somehow. . . my waiting swirls,
twisting into a needful searching.

My seeping blood, ironically I know,
has breathed my hope aware.
Now my frozen skin burns with life,
making me afraid not to try.

---Born of Faded Wishes--

(from methmadness.com)

Name: Link:
Leave these fields empty (spam trap):
More options...